March 2018 Game Night

Gentlemen,

Last night was game night--the social event of the month as we like to say here.

Joe, Paul, and Pete joined me for a small game of mere 2D playing.

We dined on a saucy little pizza of pepperoni and bacon, with a clever crust of butter Parmesan that worked well with both red and white wine.

But that is merely theoretical of course, as my single dusty bottle of wine (and thank you noticing that Pete) remained on the rack.

We added a blue corn chip and sea salt and lime corn chip along with red and green salsa plus a chili cheese sauce, so each could have their chips as you like it. And a mix of Italian cookies and chocolate wafer stick cookies to cleanse the pallete.

Pete was generous enough to contribute a Namaste White premium beer while I donated a Murphy Stout that I buy every few years forgetting that I don't actually like Murphy Stout very much. The house brand of Labatt Blue Light was also present to provide the mass quantities that have a quality all their own.

And various pops and sparkling water options, as well as Paul's peculiar dietary needs, of course.

Over about 4 hours we played three games.

I won the first game on the strength of 2 hidden point cards. The rest of the pack spent most of the game mocking Paul's Shakespearean drama of getting the longest road card first while proclaiming his fear of it; while doing his best to make sure it was to be his own rather than not to be his own.

But my two point cards made that angst rather much ado about nothing.

The middle game was the worst of the lot. And by that I mean the worst for me and since I write this newslettter you can pound sand and endure (or reply all to add your two cents worth).

The rock shortage was severe and I lacked even a 2 rock source to keep my hopes alive. Indeed, after trading with the bank to have but a single rock in my hand I had to give it up to the robber. While it looked good on the gold chain around my neck, it was a luxury item that paled in comparison to the actual points I might get from the common resources.

Meanwhile, Joe had repeatedly traded 3 or 4 rocks to get a sheep or some such thing, which seemed rather cruel. His cackling laughter suggests he believed otherwise and little sympathy was to be had for me on the rest of Catan.

Pete strode to a glorious win in this second game, with I believe but a single point card and the largest army that we saw approaching from a long way. But were helpless to turn it aside. This game was the first of the evening for him to actually build a city and he benefited greatly.

My only glory was playing the monopoly card, which sparked the tempest of resentment on Catan even though I received but 6 or 7 cards for my efforts to rise up from my humble rock-less origins.

Game three was a comedy of errors actual and almost. Joe quite literally rolled the robber on his first seven rolls and actually rolled more 7s than not. It was a frightening toll of dice tossed back into the bin in search of luck for a proper taming of what he threw.

And in a nerdly way, as people noted Joe's ill luck and the failure of "probability" to function properly otherwise, the engineers pondered a means to, measure for measure, record the die rolls and subject them to statistical analysis for inclusion in this newsletter to provide science to support the just wrath of those denied luck or expose the whining charlatans forlorn over their love's labor lost to perfidious dice.

The near-bad luck took place when Pete broke the embargo (and thus violated the Pete rule) to trade with Joe who was nearing victory despite his robber affiliation that was very suspicious indeed. When I called Pete on this, he said it didn't matter as he examined his large hand of cards. Not paying attention, I assumed he was about to declare victory before Joe's turn, and I almost revealed my frustration that I had 9 point including my 2 victory point cards (again) face down. But I did not say a thing, to my great relief, and I finally noticed that Pete had but 4 points. On my turn I got my 10th point which surely would have been in doubt if the other players knew I was on the cusp of victory. The near comedy of errors was averted and all's well that ends well, I say.

I also used the monopoly card in this game, again netting but a half dozen cards. But this time it was enough to gain me my cards needed to build the last point. But for being the Merchant of Catan I was abused and threatened with a Beej Rule that seems wholly undeserved. Envy is ugly to behold.

For the first time in a long time, the rule of not taking resources when not all can draw was invoked. No sheep for others. But on the next roll of sheep I got mine, so no worries.

Speaking of sheep. I learned my lesson when on a round I did not announce my sheep offering, someone else offered a sheep and traded it away. Never again shall I remain silent over my plethora of sheep.

And of course, we had on the NCAA games to see Michigan win on my new YouTube TV service in HD after sending the evil Comcast to the burning pits of Hell for not even trying to offer me a discount when I called to cancel them.  But as we enjoy our spring, that is a winter's tale for another time.

We retired to the salon for Game of Thrones season 4 episode 1. Boooobs. And coffee.

Oh, and Thai hookers.

Thanks for attending! Much fun. Next week I think it shall be an Ito Night. It's been a long time and I can't wait for mid-summer game night for this dream, so get your kale, or what you will, in your diet now to protect yourselves from the onslaught on your stomach to come in April.

Beej