Gentlemen,
Last night was game night--the social event of the month as we like to say here.
Joe, Paul, and Pete joined me for a small game of mere 2D playing.
We
dined on a saucy little pizza of pepperoni and bacon, with a clever
crust of butter Parmesan that worked well with both red and white wine.
But
that is merely theoretical of course, as my single dusty bottle of wine
(and thank you noticing that Pete) remained on the rack.
We
added a blue corn chip and sea salt and lime corn chip along with red
and green salsa plus a chili cheese sauce, so each could have their
chips as you like it. And a mix of Italian cookies and chocolate wafer
stick cookies to cleanse the pallete.
Pete was
generous enough to contribute a Namaste White premium beer while I
donated a Murphy Stout that I buy every few years forgetting that I
don't actually like Murphy Stout very much. The house brand of Labatt
Blue Light was also present to provide the mass quantities that have a
quality all their own.
And various pops and sparkling water options, as well as Paul's peculiar dietary needs, of course.
Over about 4 hours we played three games.
I
won the first game on the strength of 2 hidden point cards. The rest of
the pack spent most of the game mocking Paul's Shakespearean drama of
getting the longest road card first while proclaiming his fear of it;
while doing his best to make sure it was to be his own rather than not
to be his own.
But my two point cards made that angst rather much ado about nothing.
The
middle game was the worst of the lot. And by that I mean the worst for
me and since I write this newslettter you can pound sand and endure (or
reply all to add your two cents worth).
The
rock shortage was severe and I lacked even a 2 rock source to keep my
hopes alive. Indeed, after trading with the bank to have but a single
rock in my hand I had to give it up to the robber. While it looked good
on the gold chain around my neck, it was a luxury item that paled in
comparison to the actual points I might get from the common resources.
Meanwhile,
Joe had repeatedly traded 3 or 4 rocks to get a sheep or some such
thing, which seemed rather cruel. His cackling laughter suggests he
believed otherwise and little sympathy was to be had for me on the rest
of Catan.
Pete strode to a glorious win in this
second game, with I believe but a single point card and the largest
army that we saw approaching from a long way. But were helpless to turn
it aside. This game was the first of the evening for him to actually
build a city and he benefited greatly.
My
only glory was playing the monopoly card, which sparked the tempest of
resentment on Catan even though I received but 6 or 7 cards for my
efforts to rise up from my humble rock-less origins.
Game
three was a comedy of errors actual and almost. Joe quite literally
rolled the robber on his first seven rolls and actually rolled more 7s
than not. It was a frightening toll of dice tossed back into the bin in
search of luck for a proper taming of what he threw.
And
in a nerdly way, as people noted Joe's ill luck and the failure of
"probability" to function properly otherwise, the engineers pondered a
means to, measure for measure, record the die rolls and subject them to
statistical analysis for inclusion in this newsletter to provide science
to support the just wrath of those denied luck or expose the whining
charlatans forlorn over their love's labor lost to perfidious dice.
The
near-bad luck took place when Pete broke the embargo (and thus violated
the Pete rule) to trade with Joe who was nearing victory despite his
robber affiliation that was very suspicious indeed. When I called Pete
on this, he said it didn't matter as he examined his large hand of
cards. Not paying attention, I assumed he was about to declare victory
before Joe's turn, and I almost revealed my frustration that I had 9
point including my 2 victory point cards (again) face down. But I did
not say a thing, to my great relief, and I finally noticed that Pete had
but 4 points. On my turn I got my 10th point which surely would have
been in doubt if the other players knew I was on the cusp of victory.
The near comedy of errors was averted and all's well that ends well, I
say.
I also used the monopoly card in this
game, again netting but a half dozen cards. But this time it was enough
to gain me my cards needed to build the last point. But for being the
Merchant of Catan I was abused and threatened with a Beej Rule that
seems wholly undeserved. Envy is ugly to behold.
For
the first time in a long time, the rule of not taking resources when
not all can draw was invoked. No sheep for others. But on the next roll
of sheep I got mine, so no worries.
Speaking of
sheep. I learned my lesson when on a round I did not announce my sheep
offering, someone else offered a sheep and traded it away. Never again
shall I remain silent over my plethora of sheep.
And
of course, we had on the NCAA games to see Michigan win on my new
YouTube TV service in HD after sending the evil Comcast to the burning
pits of Hell for not even trying to offer me a discount when I called to
cancel them. But as we enjoy our spring, that is a winter's tale for
another time.
We retired to the salon for Game of Thrones season 4 episode 1. Boooobs. And coffee.
Oh, and Thai hookers.
Thanks
for attending! Much fun. Next week I think it shall be an Ito Night.
It's been a long time and I can't wait for mid-summer game night for
this dream, so get your kale, or what you will, in your diet now to
protect yourselves from the onslaught on your stomach to come in April.
